Mixed Signals

All of my life I've been aware of the fact I'm bigger than most people. All of my life I've wanted to lose some weight to be happier with myself but I've also had the message that size doesn't matter an element too.

I was thinking the other day (dangerous, I know) about how I follow such opposite accounts in my life on social media. I follow lots of slimming world accounts as I followed the plan for a while a few years ago and like the food and the plan and keep kidding myself I'll stick to the plan again and lose lots of weight and be fabulous. I also follow lots of accounts that promote self worth and that we should love ourselves for who we are. I do completely agree with this, however I've realised that maybe part of the reason I don't stick to plans of losing weight is because I'm so used to loving myself for who I am not for the weight on my scales.

I do believe whole heartedly that no matter what I weigh, I am more than a number. Just because I have more fat than some people it doesn't make me any less of a person and it doesn't change anything. I think there's nothing wrong with loving yourself for who you are. However, I know that the weight I am is affecting my health (I'm really unfit) and that if I stay this size there may be other health problems in the future. I also know I'd be happier if I was smaller - I have no idea what I'd like to weigh, it's more how I'd like to look and feel.

I am going to try and let these two contrasting opinions work together to help drive me in my aim to lose some weight. Love myself throughout the process because that's okay but with the long term goal of weighing less, looking and feeling better and generally being overall more healthy.