Body Image Series - A horrible realisation

So in just over seven months time I'll have graduated and (hopefully) be out in the real world of work. However with that fact comes a horrible truth. I have to get a job, that might sound pretty obvious but to me that's scary. At the moment yes I'm still applying for things, but hopefully soon I may be asked to be interviewed (fingers crossed). This means meeting people in the flesh. I wouldn't say I'm a very shy person anymore and when I know what I'm talking about I might even go as far as to say I'm confident. However meeting people in person means the initial judging and there are no shortage of articles stating how obese people are less desirable to hire in the work place - for some reason there's a stigma attached to being less hard working.

I'm sick of feeling like I should change my size just to benefit other people. It's not a disease or contagious and so I'd appreciate not being treated that way. I'm worried I'll never get a job because people will look at me, judge me and just eliminate me straight away. I know there's a lot done these days to try and make hiring people in the work place fair but maybe it's not enough.

An even worse realisation is the fact that if at some point I do decide to seriously try and lose weight, it's a life time thing. Once I've started if I stop again like I have done so many times before I'll be back to this size in no time. Keeping weight off is a lot harder than loosing it in the first place and I feel like that may be most of the reason that right now I'm not really trying!